Texts no. 2

These are the most recent "convos" I had with my sister:

1. This was following a "liked" thing I had on facebook:

Dear platypus,

So let me get this right, you're part duck, part beaver, lay eggs, produce venom and you sweat milk and have your young lick it off you instead of just having nipples? 

Sincerely, proof God does shrooms.

Me: See? I'm not the only one who likes mushrooms.:D
Sis: Have you actually tried shrooms?:)
Sis: Don't lie, God is watching.
Me: Yeah, but not the Godly kind.
Sis: I do not get it.:-?
Me: Well, God made the platypus while under the effect of shrooooms, I can only make spaghetti or pizza under their effect, so I'm guessing he used the "special" kind? A God super power or something.:))
Sis: So that's your non intelligible way to say you only tried the vegetable.:))
Me: I will not say anything without a lawyer!
Sis: I'm here, so do confess now!
Me: I'd better confess my crimes!!!
Sis: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Me: Very much, yes!
Sis: But I heard you can't really get good shrooms in Ro, soo I'll just... No. I won't give you the benefit of the doubt:)) You haven't tried'em. I'm curious though. In californication they talked about "things" with shrooms. I do that without'em though.:))
Me: Me too. Does that mean we were born on crack? I wonder what would happen if we actually ate some funny muffins or smoked pot... The world would probably end...
Sis: :)))

That said, we will only be eating the shrooms next year in December. Yes, the mayans were right! We are actually to blame!:D

2. This was a messenger conversation:

Sis: I'll draw you once.
Me: Yey!
Sis: Maybe I'll even try to make you a face.
Sis: Or just sunglasses...
Sis: Very dark sunglasses.:D
Me: =))
Sis: How shall I draw you?
Me: Riding a narwhal?

3. Also, a messenger convo:

Sis: I feel like a ninja! I saw a fly on the window. I made "ahhhh" and then "shoo!" and it flew away without coming in my room!
Me: =))))))))but that would make you a pirate, cuz if you were a ninja she would have just dropped dead!
Me: because of the awesomeness
Sis: =))))) i still feel like a ninja
Me: a question: are you wearing black?
Sis: yes
Sis: why?
Me: =))just checking. All ninjas wear that colour.
Sis: I have black socks and pants. The shirt is white.
Me: that makes you a pirate=)))))
Sis: :(
Me: what?:d pirates are epic:p the can talk in pirate, ninjas can talk in what?:D
Sis: =))) Someone has at their status: "I'll give my soul away..."
Me: =)))))omh, she is selling it to the devil?=))
Me: *omg
Sis: oh my ..heels?
Me: =))))heels, that IS epic
Sis: i think ninjas would take pirates in a battle, pirates being slower and drunk and everything
Me: ok, arguments pls
Sis: and.. stinky, probably. i like the idea of pirates, but only if they got veg food on board, and they don't stink
Me: okay, but pirates could also just shoot the ninjas with their cannons
Sis: i don't think so, ninjas are masters of stealth
Me:  they can kill the ninjas with their smell
Sis: yeah, that, they could.
Me: and pirates have johnny depp (Honestly, how can a ninja top that?:D)
Sis: YESSS OMGJJKP!
Me: he has rum=)))))))pirates are more epic
Sis:  but ninjas would win
Me: but pirates are sneaky, they could get the ninjas drunk and make them pirates too:D so pirates win
Me: on the other hand, ninjas can turn invisible... they probably stole the cloak from harry potter

New status:

Between ninjas and pirates I would choose zombie pirajas:D

4. This was online:

Sis: You should post more "texts" on your blog. I think we send each other more than 300 text messages every month.
Me: Yeah, but I have to delete them 'cuz my phone is an antique.
Sis: M: Sis, did you see titanic 2??
Me: No, not even gonna attempt seeing it!
Me: Oh, wait... I'm a moron...
Sis: =)) Put this as an intro.:D
Me: Tell me the rest, I remember it as a fun convo!:) I'll save the convos on mess, so, just so you know, this is being recorded:))

Sis: Have you seen Titanic 2?
Me: No, did they come back as zombies and would only die with an iceberg in their brains?
Sis: Nah, it's a thing that happens in 2012. It has 1.9 on IMDB.:)) Must be good.
Me: I hope they hit an iceberg and sink...
Sis: They're actually sunk by a tsunami...

5. While on the bus:

Sis: Ask me what I'm doing.
Me: What are you doing?
Sis: Taking a bath! In the middle of the street, fully dressed. God is pissing on us!!! There aren't even rain drops, it's like a full-blown shower.
Me: My belly hurts!:))) Angels do that sometimes too. I think they take turns.
Sis: I climbed up a bench and there is a guy who keeps getting closer to me...
Me: Maybe he has a hairdryer?
Sis: I dunno. Anyway: New goal for next week: walk into a bar and order two drinks: a coke and a pepsi, than proceed to say: can't we all just get along?

Sis:  Motto: I won't live each day like it's my last.
Me: i have a different motto, i don't really remember it right now, but i know it isn't that one
Sis: Wake me up when the end of the world happens!
Sis: So I can use as my last words: "respawning in 3...2....1..."
Me: while i scream: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, i'm coming back to start the second apocalypse, zombie style!!!

Later that night...

Me: There are some funny noises coming from my neighbour...
Me: I think he's burying his wife...
Sis: ... =)))))

Ok, kids! This is it for now. Go in the corner and think about what you just read!:D